None was forthcoming. The situation wasn’t too worrying but I was more concerned that everything would be fine by all the other guests. Tanya was attentive to me, and from time to time touched me, brushed against me, made lewd observations about the sexual activities of the others in the family room. When I decided to remove all the toys from the pool and put them in the shed at the rear of the back yard she was there to help. In the confines of the shed as we stacked the smaller items away she told me how she had wanted to have me, given that she had heard some nice things about me from her mother. In response to my questions she told me of her past experiences with young men closer to her own age and her general lack of complete satisfaction. And yes, she had been on the pill for a couple of years. She helped me carry the double air mattress from the pool. Instead of putting it in the shed, along with everything else, we placed it on the lawn. Tanya lay back on the bed under the. Washing my face. Pouring the sea into my eyes so that the salt was stinging. I wept in my dreams and that was a secret pleasure and I didn't want to leave it. Five minutes more, facing the rising sun with my shadow long behind me. Two minutes or just one ... A single moment less than I could bear."Wake up, bitch!" Cold water on my face was the only bath I would know, and a voice that was deep and rough and unkind, as it must be in a place like that.I'd learned not to cry a long time ago. Not asking why took a little longer, but all of my questions went away eventually. That's what it is to be a slave. I was numb now, except in my dreams, and numbness is a thing you can't understand until you feel it. Until it consumes you. Becomes you."You go on television today." There was the clattering of a metal tray being shoved under the bars, kicked towards me so that the cold hard rice was caught and tumbled off to flake on the floor.I scrambled for it, catching the rice in my broken fingers.
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